5 Things That Will Hurt Your Struggling Reader

Moms and dads have always helped with homework, but surprise!  Today you may find yourself at home working AND “homeschooling.”

Stress levels being what they are, this list may help you sidestep some pitfalls and tears.

1.  CRUSHING YOUR CHILD’S SPIRIT

Parents are strained and highly stressed right now. Working from home and taking on homeschooling your child is a lot for everyone to handle.

One thing you need to remember as you home school and help your child to read is that they need you. This is a person you love dearly, not a homework machine.  Are you treating the assignment more important than your child?

A child notices a negative tone of voice or facial expression – and they feel it.  Because children are so intuitive about these things speak with love and patience. Sometimes this means having extra patience ourselves.

They’re already feeling terrible about themselves for not being able to complete a task like their peers, and now they’re disappointing you too. This weighs heavily on a child. When it becomes too much to carry, they can shut down.

Be encouraging and assure your kiddo that with time and practice, they CAN do it. Be their greatest fan and encourage them along the way.

Come up with a rewards system, have a fun activity or play a game when tasks are completed. A quick game of tic-tac-toe refreshes the brain and boosts the spirit.

2.  LACK of BALANCE – Helping Too Much or Not Enough With a Struggling Reader

As a parent it’s important to ask yourself if you are following the right balance of helping your child. This can present in one of two ways. To determine which you are ask yourself these questions:

 ARE YOU HELPING… 

• Too much?
  • Do you sound out every word for them?
  • Do you find yourself doing all the work?
• Too little?
  • Do you find yourself saying “Remember, I just told you that word. I’m not telling you again.”
  • Stating “Just go read for 20 minutes.” – This isn’t okay if they are a struggling reader.
• Just Right?
  • Think about the real purpose of the assignment and choose your battles wisely. Maybe you find you listen to them read and are nearby to help or share the reading and alternate reading pages with them.

ARE YOU CORRECTING…

Part of learning to read, or really to do anything, is a bit of a struggle in the beginning. Another important thing about helping your child learn to read is determining how much you should correct them.

Determine if you are helping too much, not enough or just right based on these tips:

• Too much?
  • Do you jump in any time they make a mistake?
  • Are you asking them to correct every mistake they make as they read to you?
• Too little?
  • Are you just telling them the word because it is easier?
  • Do you allow them to keep reading even if they make a mistake so what they are reading does not make sense?
• Just right?
  • Again consider the purpose for reading. What is the goal of the lesson? If the lesson is focused on comprehension and what they just read does not make sense, stop at the end of the sentence, paragraph or page, whatever seems appropriate and talk about it.

Keep the flow of reading going as much as possible unless it’s important to the text, or your intended purpose. Make a note of the error and come back to it at another time.

Your child will appreciate not being interrupted too frequently. It disrupts their concentration and can make anyone downright agitated.

3. CREATING NEGATIVE FEELINGS

You and your child can “grump” your way through an assignment to get it done, but stress, bad feelings and uncooperative attitudes may bubble below the surface.

Negative feelings hurt this session and may also make future sessions less productive. Over time it can erode away at the relationship.

Sending a kid off to their room to read as punishment won’t ever help create a positive feeling about reading. In fact, it can damage the positive work you’ve done up to that point.

4. ENDING ON A POSITIVE NOTE

If things haven’t gone particularly well, be as encouraging as possible, end a little earlier than usual and always be kind.

Find something positive to say about your child while still being genuine.

It’s similar to the way my son coached me to throw a basketball. He always called it quits after I made a good shot, never after a string of air balls.

Most everyone appreciates ending on a note of success.

5. UNDERESTIMATING YOUR INFLUENCE

Parents, you are the most important people in your child’s life. Whether they let you know it, or not, they value your opinion greatly.

Will they tell you that? Of course, not!

Teachers hear it all the time in school. “My Dad said…My Mom said…”

Your opinion of school, homework, education and reading, can make or break an attitude.

If you “don’t give a flip” they won’t either. The fact is, if it’s important to you, it’s important to them…and that’s influence.

Summary and Key Take Away’s

• Remember, you are working with a child you love.
• Know the overall focus of the assignment and keep it in mind when deciding to interrupt or make a correction.
• Allow the flow of reading to continue unless a word is crucial to understanding the text. Note errors that can be addressed later.
• Finish on a positive note.
• Use your influence for good.

P.S. Give yourself a pat on the back. It isn’t easy, but it’s always worth it.

If you think your child could use some additional help please reach out to me.